loss

Loss is a part of human’s life. It is not the event itself-the type of loss-that determines one’s response to it. Each person reacts to a loss in his or her own way. How we respond to a particular loss is influenced by a combination of factors and can be a painful process. The five stages, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance makes up our learning to live with the one we lost. But there is no typical response to loss as there is no typical loss. Our grief is as individual as our lives.

Since I wasn’t going anywhere, after a day in the city on Saturday, I went home to check my e-mails. There was this e-mail from Elsa about her friend (also my friend) in Bahrain who passed away. Jamal is my fellow Chevening scholar. Elsa knew about the news since she is on the same batch at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs with Jamal and also Adi (another Chevening scholar). Elsa is in Vienna, while Adi is in Riyadh. I don’t really know Jamal, but he is a friend of a friend, therefore he is my friend. I called his wife in Bahrain, faxed a condolence letter, called his brother in law in Jakarta, and text every Chevening scholars I know. I promised myself that I would go to pay my respect to the deceased on Monday when the body arrive whether at the airport or at the office of Foreign Affairs. Sadly, another bad news arrived at 1 a.m. My cousin called to inform us that his father passed away at the hospital. There I was, thinking about what I should do. Than, I decided that I have to attend both memorial services. I saw Jamal’s family and also my family. We have different way on grieving, but we didn’t do loud crying and become too emotional or stressed. I guess the prayer and the Quranic reading is really alleviate the pain and suffering in loss. This is a time to remember, to pray, to be silent and thoughtful. Good bye my friend and uncle. May you rest in peace!